Q: A candy is on a table in the center of a room. In the four corners of the room are God, an atheist, the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus. Suddenly the lights go out. When the lights come back on, the candy is gone. Who ate it?

A: The atheist. There's no such thing as Santa Claus, there's no such thing as the Easter Bunny, and there's no such thing as God.

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A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Christian. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Christians too. Not really knowing why, but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I am not a Christian."

"Then", asks the teacher, "what are you?"

"I'm a proud atheist," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a atheist.

"Well, my mom and dad are atheists, so I'm a atheist too."

The teacher is now angry.

"That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be a Christian."